i need space.. please..

pernahkah anda berada dalam keadaan yg sesak dada ketika melihat meja anda yg sesak dengan dokumen2 yg bole dikategorikan di bawah jenis sampah sarap?

ye..
saye berada di dalam keadaan tersebut ketika ini..

ape? sape cakap stressed to dessert?
dessert kepala hot die...

nitey nite...

within these two three days...i've been contacting back wit few long lost people who were closed to me before..
my pet-sis and pet-brother.... my uni friend... cool tak?
mcm jejak kasih...

hmm.. bagus kan fb ni.. senang nak trace kawan2 lama..

owh.. tmr is the gathering day.... tak sabar nak catch-up wit them..

*sleepy*

nite u... :)

my so called phuket holidays..

bilikku da mcm longkang..

bersepah dengan baju blm basuh segala..

sangattt la malasnyer...

sangat.. horrornyer tahap pemalas...

i just got back from penang last monday..

was supposed to go to phuket but coz of yana's being barred from ptptn..

we ended up going to penang..

well.. it still started with P at the front.. aite :)

no worries.. still.. it was fun..

even we were not filled up our time with much activities... but....

we were having greaattttt time...

esp time kat feringghi..

syokk seh..

me, yana and her boyfriend...

we were at hard rock cafe penang masa ni..

the band yg performed at that nite managed to glued us to our seats till we tak sempat abis kan duit kat nite street feringghi market..

owh well.. it was totally awesome!

this is the band yg performed at that nite.. sorry wit the blur pict.. hp saye cokia jer..huhu.. owh..btw the lead guitar is my boyfriend's pal.. masa die main band dlu....

i think i have a cool boyfriend.. :) but we are still in the stage of getting to know each other.....and i think he made me love him even more and more by day... :)

owh.. yes friends..

i already have a boyfriend who loves me for who i am..

and i'm happy... :)

during the meeting....

arrow pointing to the north

- cik adik manis -

arrow pointing to the east

- mr. r o b e r t o loco -

arrow pointing to the east cost

- mr. pain in the ass -

- totally -

*me high fiveing mr. loco*

*grinning*

still mood merajuk

raya is just around the corner..
roundabout..
round round row ur boat..

nway..
luckily the bajus rayas siap all of them.. kalau tak aku pakai jeans je 1st day raya ngan shirt kotak2 pink yg aku baru beli tu..kata kena pakai baju baru berwarna warni kan.. tu je latest baju baru yg aku ade...
belasah je..
dulik ape babe..
omak den ok yo..
ekau brani nak bising?

today aku cuti.. cuti kuasa dua nama die..
cuti kerja..
cuti puasa..
muahaha..

heaven je pg td bila bonda tiada dirumah.. tiada siapa terpekik petir suruh aku bangun awal.. last2 11.30 br celik.. tu pun tiada ape yg perlu diuruskan kecuali..

• menjemur under/upperwares (bukan tupperware) yg mika tinggalkan di dalam washing machine..
• membasuh semua pinggan kotor yg mika tinggalkan pas sahur dlm sink..
• dan...membasuh baju2 kerja yg lambakan nyer dah beh kurang baju beli satu dpt lg satu free kat f.o.s

hmm..

aku juga cuba sedaya upaya mg'ikhlaskan diri supaya pahala mendarat di bahu kanan... amin.. tp biasa la.. emo tetap emo.. tengah pms ni..

mlm ni mungkin tdo awal.. x mcm mlm td... mlm td berchatting dgn en.gombak sehingga mata pun dah hampir tertutup separuh.. sedar2 da kul 2.30 pg.. en.gombak surrender dlu.. so after say gudnite.. he went offline...

suddenly.. en. ek.arts pula menegur..lalu menyambung kembali aktiviti mengechat sehingga ke 3pg... time tu muka pun da cium laptop.. aku surrender dlu dr en. ek.arts... terus off.. terus tdo sampai 11.30am.. kan aku da kata.. bonda ku tiada dirumah.. aku dapat qada' tdo aman makmur damai sejahtera..

tp....

dr malam td.. org yg ditunggu2 sms aku tak jugak sms...

alih2 pg2 da bg comment kat fb yg die mintak maaf sbb t'tdo dlu tersangat la awalnyer... tersangat la percayanyer aku alasan die tu kan..

wutever..

*aku still mood merajuk*

i am...

I am... mentally stressed..
and physically tired...
i think... i need a new environment.....
i think..
i need a new job.....

sleep tight

me:
boss.. i think i below performance..

bossy boss:
what made u think of that?

me:
coz i rasa camtu... i rasa byk benda pending.. u pun slalu marah2 i je...

bossy boss:
no la.. u r not under performance.. its just the way of me treating u buat u rasa cam tu.. no worries.. u r doing ok..


tq bossy boss..
i can sleep well tonite...
:)

its pink..

i had nasik goreng for dinner... with chicken rempah..
and sambal udang..
i finished the chicken.. but only took the sambal without the udang..
i cant take the udang.. itchy itchy bitchy me.. haha

stress at work is unbearable sumtimes...
keje up to 12 hours a day... org gile pun surrender babe..
boss seems disturbed..
with his staff attitude...
i am as much as possible trying to make things easy for him.. but as usual... the people surrounded me make things harder...

:(

pape la kan.. work.. stress.. normal la tuh..
mane ade keje yg tak stress.. even cleaner kat ofis pun suka marah2...
owh.. akak cleaner tempat keje aku memang garang..
asek sound org je..
huhu..
cleaner pun bole sound staff.. power..

tak baik marah2 aci..
dosa tau..

ermm..
owh.. i had new look for my bedroom..
its pink..
candy pink..
barbie pink i must say...
its cute..
i'll upload the pic some other time la eh... someday...bila rajin..

ergh..
~sgt mengantuk~

sickening..

i think mom is ironing the baju for work tmr...

ergh..
bisingnyer kt luar... serious bising but i cant tell u why.. it will sound racist...
i dont want to be called racist but...
seriously bising skrg nih...

aku nk tdo sbnrnyer...

haih...that feeling come again...
and i hate it..
i dont know what to do...
well i did actually.. finally i have the guts to put everything down..

do i give up?
i dont know...
what i know right is i am sick of this.. and sad....

and the new longdistancerelationship in front of me right now is freaking me out...

i think im beginning to like this guy even more...
gosh.. i dont know how not to be so stuck into someone...
i.........

kusut ar..
seriously...
:(

sick

lappy sakit..
Dr. T nk fix die mlm nih...

*sedih*

RETIS KER?

ape nak tulis?
hehe..
arini bz shooting corporate video baru utk student new generation..
nyesal cik adik manis ni volunteer..
da la kena dok depan2 camera... sbb pendek kan.. tak cukup tinggi.. bukan x cukup sifat ok.. dgn tak makan nyer.. gilerr lapa..
kena lak gi make-up dlu... dr kul 11 make-up sampai kul 1... praktis dlu then baru shooting start dr kul 2.30 pai 5.30... gigil pala lutut seh..
huhu.. this will be the last time i involved with this kind'f activity..
lantak diorang la len kali kalau tak cukup student ke.. tak cukup makan ke...totally not my business..
takmo da aku join kalu ade kena ngena ngan shooting2 nih...
letih siot jadi artis....
eh.. artis ke? hehek

level stress tahap mencarut..

letih ni..
da la benda yg nak dibuat tak bawak balik uma..
benda yg taknak muncul tak pasal2..
yg plg best.. tiket PFM boss tak tau katne..
damn..

da la nxt week benda alah tu..

stress nih..
stress nih..
hopefully ade la benda tu kat ofis..
please.. please..

black is black....

tummy is growling.. maybe i shud sleep..
bukan takde lauk nk mkn kt kitchen...
ade..
ade ikan bilis goreng cili...
looks ok..
smell ok...
but im sure it has been cooked three days ago...
ergh...
sgt lapa...

today i wore dress takat peha to work..
hey with lagging ok..
black lagging..
yes.. sexy a lil bit...
and they said i can straight away go to enslave myself being the tan sri's PA..

wutta fuc*?

argh..
tomorrow kena gi bank rakyat to settle up things.. the anak-buah-kerenah stuff...
haih...
hoping this will be the last mischievous thingy my dearie niece will ever done..
tak larat da..
aku start rasa cam org tua da ni..

that guy.... is wutever...

so i went out with this guy last tues which i knew from tagged...we've been msging thru the site and thru sms few days back..he was fun ... until........ :



ok...here it goes..

i am not complimenting myself by saying this.. but he thot i was adorable.. and fun.. and cute... and i din expect that he can fall for me over one night...
wutever...



so the next day i was fu*king busy settling my nieces thingy... (owh..that was another long-tiring story.. i dont think am gonna tell anything abt it)

so i dont really replying to his smses.... i was so tensed and stressed and i dont hv time to mingle2 dgn die thru sms...


so that night... after things had settled down a lil bit, i smsed him back..


mine: mr. A, sori xreply msg u.. i ade hal ngan nieces i..bz..

his: babe, i nk bgtau u sumthing.. i feel chemistry dengan u..
and i din reply that... and he sent,

his: sori la sbb lurus sangat... btw, atok mintak maaf sbb kacau u ari ni.. (well he put his age at tagged - 99yo.. so i called him atok)

mine: its ok..
his:u free tak nk lepak?

mine: i taknak kuar ar.. penat..

his: erm ok.. if i datang are u rasa2 u larat nak kuar tak? (ape msg aku yg sblm ni ade berbunyi.. "tak la bro.. i tgh rileks gilerrr nih!" ke? ade? ade?... takde kan?!!)

mine: mls la.. mlm td i da kuar... nnt my mom bising..

his: orait... rest sokmo ye.. i ni mcm buat valuation (bole mamat ni nak evaluate aku pastu bagitau pulak...) masa lepak ngan u malam td and otw balik umah i rasa puas and lapang... u ade bace2 ke?huhu
... yup.. i din reply this one either.. and he sent me another msg...
it goes..

his: i nk tau sumthin, u bgtau je k..do you see anything in me? bcoz u mesti tgk i kabut semcm. da real truth is, i berkawan skang bukan utk jadik couple or scandal. thats y i ask u this weird qs..
so.. i did not reply to this also.. i was quite taken aback a lil bit.. speechless.. and try to piling my words before i say anything stupid and might hurt his feeling..not until another msg came in tak sampai setengah jam after that..
his: u lead me on a few days ago. tetiba pas jumpe terus kurang n kurang sms u. dont have to reply, i can guess that sumthin is not within your expectation.
ok... i was ... hmm i seriously have nothing to say when i read this.. he's judging me in just over a night and a day.. memang wrong timing la bro.. aku da la in the middle of settling my family problem... tambah pulak ngan soklan2 yg merepek2 dr mamat ni.. rajin la pulak aku nak layan....

in which, this had made me having these assumption towards him..

1) he confidently think that i do have same feeling towards him like he did..
2) he was having this assumption that i would just go and grab i the person barely knew..despite whoever he is.. and if he is a marriage-orientation-kinda-guy and i would definately agree to marry him if he proposed... (i guess if i lead on to this fella he might propose me within a month... urgh.. scary siol!)
3)die seorang yg tak menyabar langsung... pushy giler...can u imagine he gave me half-n-hour to answer his cepuk-mas qs??!
4)ok... ni cruel sket... he might a lil bit desperate.. :p

hmm..
ntah la...this is what made me scared of meeting new people.. i guess im a likeable person and people can easily fall for me.. i just want to make friends.. and usually when this things happen i tend to back off coz i suffocated when people started to push me..

i know...i may look like someone is easy to be pleased.. actually i dont.. and i hate it when poeple start to judging me.. i am unpredictable... even i always been puzzled by my ownself... :p

seriously...

he owe me this..

i dont know what should i write actually....

whether to write what was going on today..or to write what i feel like writing... or to write what i felt inside.........

frankly...

i feel sad...

and i feel sad because of him...

yes.. him...him.. and him.. and again and again......

i've tried to bring myself/my thought/my brain away from him.....which is obviously i cant...

its just hard....yet im not a hard headed person ..still.. it just hard for me to take my mind off him....

i wish he would know how i felt.... so that he can at least think abt how others would feel when he doing things like this to someone who were close to him.. so that he can at least stop doing it... so that he wont be that selfish...

i wasnt asking him to commit or something.... i just want him to be there.. like he used to.... but...... he wasnt there ...

so i keep on telling myself that he need space... that he doesnt need me at this point of time.. and i keep on telling it to myself... so i can at least hold my finger from texting him or even try to call him to see whether or not he will pick up my call... and i even tell myself that if this is what he wants, then im gonna give it to him..

i feel like crying whenever i think of him...nope.. i dont feel like crying... i cried everytime i think abt him.. and i din realized that im gonna be this fragile... so fragile...

so everytime when my thots were on him, or when i miss him, i'll tell my closest fren how much i missed him.. with the hope that i would be able to get off the feeling if i tell someone else ...but the feeling is still there.. it still lingers... and it stiff.. and it doesnt moved a bit..and it seems like it will never go away...

it hurts.....

to be like this... to not able to open your heart to some else... to just stuck into that one person who's totally ignoring you... when u dont even have a single clue why is he doing this to you...

it really hurts knowing that u are loosing someone who you used to talk before you sleep... someone who you talked to when u were sad.. someone you talked to when u were happy..and to be someone he talked to when he was happy.. to be someone he was talking to when he's stressed.. to be someone who's sharing his food with you.. .......

and it hurts even more knowing that u still have hope on him... u still hoping one day he'll call u and apologizing and things gonna be fine as it used to be...

i dont know what should i think... i really dont...

i wish he would leave me with some explanation...
coz he owe me an explanation...

i wish i can hate him too..

antz: r.z.. betul ke jodoh tu kite kena carik?
r.z: ermm
r.z: kite tak tau sape jodoh kite
r.z: tapi btul la tu
r.z: memg kene cari
r.z: takkan nak dok diam je kan
r.z: mesti ade effort
antz: hmm..
antz: antz rasa.. antz sangat suka dekat En. Ahmad (bukan nama sebenar).. (confession scr life ni ... huhu)
antz: tp En. Ahmad (bukan nama sebenar) mcm tu...
antz: tak tau nak buat ape... rsa mcm wasting time je tunggu die... tp...
antz: antz takde hati kat orang lain..
antz: camne eyh..
r.z: sabar je antz
r.z: antz pun ade effort
r.z: solat
r.z: doa
r.z: the rest tawakal
antz: tu la
antz: tu je kot yg antz bole buat..
r.z: yepp
r.z: jgn risau2 sgt k
antz: ok..
r.z: relaax je
antz: k.. im cool..


......





i am madly insanely missing him....
:(

*still grinning*

boss off to cambodia for a week...
cool kan?

at least i have a full week to focus on my own stuff.. like minutes and.... filing..
yup...
filing is most crucial actually.. coz everytime im trying to get stuff that boss wanted.. i couldnt find it... :D

hence.. am gonna put filing as my priority this week...
yippie yippie yup...

still beating... but empty..

Feist:
Travelling north, travelling north to find you
Train wheels beating, the wind in my eyes
Don't even know what I'll find when I get to you
Call out your name love, don't be surprised

Feist & Ben
It's so many miles and so long since I've left you
Don't even know what I'll find when I get to you
But suddenly now, I know where I belong
It's many hundred miles and it won't be long

Ben:
Nothing at all, in my head, to say to you
Only the beat of the train I'm on
Nothing I've learned all my life on the way to you
One day our love was over and gone

Feist & Ben
It's so many miles and so long since I've met you
Don't even know what I'll say when I get to you
But suddenly now, I know where I belong
It's many hundred miles and it won't be long

Feist & Ben:
What will I do if there's someone there with you
Maybe someone you've always known
How do I know I can come and give to you
Love with no warning and find you alone

It's so many miles and so long since I've met you
Don't even know what I'll find when I get to you
But suddenly now, I know where I belong
It's many hundred miles and it won't be long

It won't be long
It won't be long
It won't be long



Train Song
Feist & Ben Gibbard

i guess i'll wait..

so i cut my hair..
and they told me i look cute with it..
i look like a small kid..
and i kena buli...

wtheck..

but.. its ok.. im ok with it..
im used to it.. to been bullied all the way....
zip it...


hmm....
i broke the rule again..
i called him last nite..
he din pick up..
i guess he's sleeping..
or he just wont pick up...

and i wish gudnite too..
still..
no reply....

i guess he's avoiding me..
for some good reason...
no.. im not mad at him....
im just sad...
if this is the way of him solving the problem between us..
then..

be it....

im done

i had enuff..
no more chasing..
its tiring.....seriously...

normal entry with no picture

kesejukan..

arini muka sekor2 mcm zombie.. event mlm td habis kul 12.. huh.. by the time smpi uma da 1 something.. tdo at 2.. bgn 7.30..mlm td pun overnite kt uma nini coz mls nk blk uma.. since brg sume da dlm keta die.. main redah je even takde baju keje nk pki ari..
abis2..
sarung t-shirt school dgn black pants..
siap..

mls gile arini.. xwat menda pun.. sgt gajibuts..
lagi bossy boss takde.. jimba la wei..
tgh ari td kua makan dgn persatuan ibu2.. pastu akak sorang tu nak gi beli ticket gt japan utk family die.. singgah kejap kt sepang..
aku ngan nini ape lg.. membuta sakan dlm keta..
'okestra' sama naik dgn hotFM radio kakni.. huahua..

mlm ni blk kg.. roadtax mati ni.. cikA ajak gi jmpa chand mlm ni..
tp maybe tak la kot..
mau aku kena skola ngan pokok duit klu tak blk mlm nih..

erm..
mood condition? - still rindu En. Siapa..
nk jmpa die.. tp since die da start bz keje ni.. ergh..
erghhh....

boring kan.. ari2 rindu org yg sama..ntahhapehapehahahuhintah..

i know i have to.. u dont have to remind me..

sgt letih.. mentally & physically...
i tak sempat nak facebook..
i tak sempat nak procrastinating lgsung..
and its really tiring.. i dont have time to get my mind away from work at a bit...

i have tonnes of minutes to be done.. shit.. which i actually have to submit it to corporate office as weekly report..but i kinda do it as monthly for this month..
hell... am so gonna be demoted man.......
hell..

sometimes i felt like i cant cope.. but the bossy boss said if i bring my work and get it done at home.. i can cope...
but i'm way unlikely gonna do that man... hell no..
when im at home... i am at home.. and no work should be taken home as i've done my part at office as much i could..

gosh... but the tonnes of work are still thr.. and even worst.. it accumulating... day by day.. shit...

shit..
shit..
shit..


owh.. on the lighter note..

i've been chatting with this guy.. he's from kedah..
quite caring.. he's 4 years older than me...

but im still stuck.. in that mister..
so stuck...
i have to get my head away.. wayyy wayyyy far from him..
have to..
have to..
have to...

shit...

hee..

am going to zouk tmr..
i've got free ticket for star studio search grand finale...
wee...

*grinning*

three times..

:)
i just smile.. that the most i can do...when people ask me how's things going...
i just throw a smile on my face....
but i lied....
coz.. aku rasa aku penat.. penat ngan keje.. dengan love-hate-relationship which i can say at the rate of... jiro...takde bf lg skrg ni.. so jiro lah...
eh.. ade kot... ntah.. tak sure ade ke tak de..
heheh..

life mcm a bit boring...
it doesnt evolve... it just stays thr...
ke aku yang tidak berusaha langsung... could be... haha...
i dont relly see myself like anyone see me...

cant finish the enormous size of burger i bought at burger counter for my lunch.. besar gile...
tak laratku habiskan... tunggu petang sket kot.. biar roti die kembang2 dulu dengan sos... daging die keras2sket kena aircond.. bila lapar aku sambung mkn...

H balik harini from kerawat... dia ngan hajar pegi kerawat.. dgn org2 yg lain...dengan hajar ... :
dan dia kata supposedly dia balik harini..
i dont msg him at all.. but i've tried called him three times...eventho i know he switched off the phone..takde line pun dalam utan...
but still...
i called him therreeeee times!

i broke my promise... :

but hey.. at least i dont msg him.. hmm..
huuu.. hopefully takde la kuar miscalled-back kat phone die bila die swith on... pls.. pls.. pls..

we'll see babe.. ade tak die carik i...
coz if takde.. then.......

gotta cont my boringgg stuff again...
(i like my job... i like my job... i like my job...)

*chanting*

:D

nak update blog.. tp tak sempat..
bz... bz...

crush+lust = slush.....

i wanna write something...

but im too lethargic...betul ke eja die? ntah la..

yesterday i went for the xtray.. but doc said i was fine... the result was ok.. no prob.. none.. nothing..

but the pain still there... :

mr. h was accompanied me for the whole day yesterday... cool..
sampai petang...
sampai i sent him back to his house at gombak.. and that was the moment that i really cant keep my eyes away from him.. cant focus at all.. he was driving and showed me the way to his house but... i cant familiarize the route...coz i dont look at the road.. i dont...i just look at him.. and i din stop looking at him.. he knew i was looking at him.. but he'd acted like he din notice.. .......

god.. i miss him.. :

or maybe.. i am obsessed on him... crush? or lust?

argh.. i tak suka this feeling at all..
tak suka... :

me and always me

akak da bersalin.. baby girl.. tak sabar petang karang nak tgk.. mesti bobok coz 4.something2 kg.. diorang kata bobok.. huhu..

kalau aku da kawin arini mst aku beh kurang die je dapat baby... mst aku lg rapat ngan die jugak.. coz right now.. i know she is getting through a difficult stage..
and i hope she is able to get through it..

tp.. takpe la.. u know.. life is life... and those ups and downs that we've been through is what us today.. and whatever it is.. we have got to go through it.. .. aite?

for the time being.. i'm concentrating things on myself..
yup..
:)

penatlah

Sangat penat.. sangat penat...
hari yang sangat memenatkan......

huh..

wuteva

sakit kepala bila dengar mcm2 remarks aka quote2 membina dan menurun dr mulut boss bila dia marah.. or about to marah.. or saje nak lepas geram..well those remarks of coz la not to me directly... but to those yg keliling aku nih..
huhu.. kalau diorang dengar la ape bos maki diorang ari2... mst panas-berasap-hangus langsung menghantar surat resign... confirm babe...
setiap kali bos bukak mulut bila marah... makan dalam weh....

anyway... at least those remarks were not intended to me so...
heh..

footloose..

lembab

pressure.. pressure..
rasa mcm banyak benda pending tp aku tak tau terselit kat mana..
have to catch up things.. one by one..

ergh...
lems tul aku nih... :|

tulis tulis lagi

banyak lg benda nak buat.. tu tak masuk lg invitation utk event 8hb ni... huhu.. mencanak ni nak settle sume benda.. mood da la takde... nak tulis dlm english lak tu.. minutes of meeting la... have to be in english.. rasa nak nangis tp takde ayaq mata nak kuar..

penat ni... penat sampai otak rasa da stop bekerja sblm pukul 5...
tu tulis tulis sini.. at least ...

hmm.. nak carik keje lain.. tp sangat bes keje sini.. just financially tak brape memuaskan...
ntah la..

owh.. housemateku akan masak dishes yg sedap malam ni.. ehhehe

jemput makan sume......
;)

two consequences..

semorang gi shopping arini... friday.. kt streetmall ade flea market..

i feel like going.. but i didn't.. i dont know why.. tak terdrag my feet pegi situ kot..

i had lunch with mr. T.. we both bought our food kat cafe je... sedap jugak kalau layan kadang2...kadang2 je.. leh muntah ijau kalau layan ari2...

esok nak g have fun kat pd.. syok.. i planned to cook ayam goreng cili.. saje... teringin nak share expertise memasak yg tak seberapa ni kt org..but there will be two consequences;

i) lauk saye yg sedap boleh mengundang paksaan utk msk lauk itu lg pada masa yg akan datang..

ii) lauk saye menyebabkan semorang sakit perut.. dan org akan kutuk sampai mati..

hmm.. i rather go for 2nd one.... at least takde org nk suruh aku msk2 lg da pastu..

hahahahah..

evil tak?

evil kan?

*evil face*

hmm.. friday prayer je ofis kosong.. sronok gak.. leh update blog ngan aman.. dan damai.. dan tenteram.. dan sebagainya..

still tunggu cik tudung putih decide whether she's going to ganu for cik darah manis's wedding or nope.. mcm syok je kalau pegi.. leh kita basuh otak si cik jutawan berhati mulia berjiwa murni tu reramai..

trivia utk CTP..

tgh tunggu department meeting.. sambil dengar lagu yuna..
pg td msa stuck sejam dlm jem kat area rumah, kuar lagu yuna kat hotfm.. :)
msg en. H.... coz that song always remind me of him...

tp en. H tak reply...
of coz...
line die kena bar...

urgh.. sejuk gilers ofis nih..
da cramp jari.. mcm tak leh nak wat minutes of meeting yg ari tu aritu nyer..
heheh.. ye saye tau... tu alasan jek..

utk CTP..
bile ek kite nak lepak2 sama2...
jom la pindah uma.. kite dok tiga org nak.. kamu, aku ngan adik si bukit mahkota...
sian minah cinonet tu .. since da dok jauh ni takde da dpt nak lepak2 RJ kan.. kan..
aku bukan ape..
aku nk cr jodoh....
??!! ?!
:p
hahahahahahaaahahaa

hehe..
he...

20 minutes to go....
hmm..

better job.. better companion.. better life...

i think .. someone knows this so-called secret blog that i have to express my thought... my sacarstic-vulgar-emo thought... since aku slalu biar die terbiar je tanpa log-out before aku gi memana.. da la pw senang giler... email lak terpampang je kt atas ujung tu bile nk tulis post baru..
well.. what the heck..
i dont care..

so.. today.. seems like much thing to be done.. rizal ajak gi jln yap kwan seng.. owh.. rizal bkn bapak ayam.. kalau die ajak gi kowloon mungkin la.. heh heh..tp tu la..tak tau lg nak gi ke tak.. coz arini aku ngan gf boss nak gi basuh keta sma2.. kitorang da deal nak meng'blind-date'kan keta kitorang which they happenly actracted to each other.. (well kitorang yg meng'actracted'kan keta kitorang sendiri sbnrnye)

sounds insane? well.. we are...

still....
the other thought of enhancing my lifestyle still lingers there... bukannye aku tak bersyukur utk berada dlm thp sekarang ni.. but rasa nak majukan diri sendiri tu ade... just takde trigger.. or.. aku memang malas sbnrnye... to long sitting in my own comfort bubbles...
tp bape lama lg nak gantung harap kat parents.. kan..
somehow.. somewhere .. i've got to move on....
lg2 bila da single mingle and available nih.. promoting? yes i am..
anyone interested?
hahahak... ptuih!

well... i'm enjoying this moment...
as a single girl...
who at the same time...
looking for better job.. better companion.. better life...

print shop

menyampah..
sori2 tp print jugak kat cni..
ape ingat aku ni print shop?
cc?
printer aku printer wakaf?
:
sib baik bukan aku yg carik catriedge toner dier..

:p
bkn aku yg carik.. tp aku yg bising.. mcm gila pangkat la pulak..

ah.. rimas ok...

kekejap terjengah kat depan ni.. kejap kang nak pjm pc nak print tulah.. ni lah..
yg benarnyer memang korang tu pemalas nak print kat printer ujung sana...
yg benarnyer korang tu memang suka take advantage kat org lain..
mengaku je.. kan senang?

hish!
kasik org panas je pagi2...

helo bambi

i dont know y..
i feel like changing my bloggy's name...
bambi... sounds cute aite?
bambi.. kalau accidently tertinggal the 'M' .. jadik babi..
huhu...(tersedak kucing cik tudung putih)
tak sopan...

cik housemate sorang tu posa arini.. ganti..
aku pun nak ikut jejak jejak suci die esok..
so esok aku ganti posa gak...
aku rasa ade la belas2 hari aku nak ganti..
skrg ni period aku kemain lama.. letih seh..
sampai melecet2 miss P i coz pakai pad lama sangat.. huhu (tersedak kucing cik tudung putih lagi)

erm...

trivia utk cik tudung putih

cik tudung putih..
bole tak kalau aku tag ko punya blog?
aku susah la nak baca...

friday the 17th

tak perasan tetiba je da friday... cam biasa.. deadline minutes aku esok tp...aku akan tetap memforwardkan deadline tu ke next monday tanpa rasa bersalah... boss mst bising.. which will lead to those "interesting, highly motivated" advice came out from the big-mouth..his big mouth..

therefore... aku da trained beberapa anggota badan aku especially telinga, kepala, mulut, mata, hidung dan tengkuk supaya tau mcmmane nak berfungsi bila berada dalam keadaan tersebut bila boss marah..

• telinga kanan akan dengar sahaja dan keluar menerusi telinga kiri...
• kepala, tengkuk dan mulut akan bekerjasama dimana mereka mulut akan mengiyakan sahaja tanda setuju atau berkata tidak, tanda tidak setuju selari dengan pergerakan kepala (anggukan atau gelengan)
• hidung akan bernafas seperti biasa tanpa gangguan kecuali ketika selsema..

tu je yg mampu aku buat setakat ni kalau aku stress gile selain melepaskan geram dekat en. H, atau nangis kat belakang dlm stor..

well.. bukan aku takde cara lain.. ade.. tp aku sendirik takkan galakkan diri aku gunakan cara tu sebab...

• bole membuahkan rasa geram bila aku start memegang dan menelek...
• bole menimbulkan rasa marah bila aku tak dapat nak beli..
• akan menghabiskan sumber pendapatan bulanan aku bila da beli..
• menimbulkan pulak rasa bersalah utk beberapa hari (menyesal pun ade) bila da terbeli..

setuju tak?

ape pendapatan korang?

gile

im just an ordinary girl who likes ordinary boy

an ordinary boy who can make me laugh to his joke and cry when i miss him..
an ordinary boy who can make me hate to his ignorant and love to his care..
an ordinary boy who can make me think of him before I sleep, dream of him in my sleep and think of him again when I wake up..

I think..
I met him..
But…
I don’t know..
Whether I am the one..for him

:(

I don’t want to hope..

even I have so much to give…

bad timing

yup..
today is the second day of period..
its tiring and its painful..

so i drank a lot of water... and it made me pee even more..
ade la dalam enam kali aku kua masuk toilet..
ergh...eww

hmm..
mood boss tak baik pg ni.. which lead to the swinging of mine as well..
which lead to the mood swing of the rest of the staff who im dealing with..
mmg bad timing.. memang bad day..

but.. after everything is done.. things came back to normal..
da tak mrh2.. leh gelak2 eventho td am such a fugly bitch sacarstically treating them to get what i supposedly get..

well .. its deadline people!!!
people work on deadline!!!!!
and boss will chase me out to chase u out according to deadline!!!

i hate to be the so-called PA! hate it! hate it!

i only love it when it comes to gossiping..
i get to know more hot stuff from boss's mouth.. ;)

well..
i dont care if people hate me..
i have to get things done..if not .. it is my ears that gonna swallowed all the yelling, cursing, shouting from the boss's big-mouth.. and it is his head is gonna lay on the chopping board! not u.. so shut up.. and do what u r suppose to do..
is it that HARD?!! well.. still .. u've get to curse me and boss even more..

duh!like i care!

it sucks!

stress lah!
:(

period!
keje!
boss!

argh...
takde ape yg best skrg ni kecuali TIDO!

i hate u boss!

dead-end

yes...
accreditation is coming..
deadline is at 2pm, monday..
and i really have so much stuff to complete...
yet im updating the bloggy blog.. ;)

ahaks...
lama la da tak update blog...
slalu ade mcm nak tulis sumtin tp... takde..
not that my life is not interesting.. but.....
well.. maybe it is..
:

mengantuk gile ni..
aku siap sambil2 update minutes..pastu
sambil2 update tagged..pastu
sambil2 update blog..
sambil2 menguap...
sambil2 letak kepala kat meja beralaskan bantal love kaler pink...
pastu sambil2 lg cont wat keje...

pendek kata sume sambil-sambilan la..

argh..
deadline monday ni..
monday ni deadline..

deadmeat..

down.. down.. rain...

urgh..
pms dtg lg...
tak suka bila pms datang...
tak suka..
tak suka langsung...


i'm focusing on my work now...
well...hehe
not really.. :p


cant focus on anything except to keep on thinking of him - en.ex-tunang...
:


yup...
nape die kan...
i know... semorang mara when it comes to him..
semorang said that it is useless to remembering the past..
specially about him...
semorang..

but im asking u..
can u simply delete anything about a guy who has spent the past 6 and 1/2 years together with u?
can u easily do that?
coz if u can...
please..
let us meet..
and u teach me how to do it...


i din dare to talk to anyone about it...
to even say his name...
to talk about how much i miss him..
about how suffer i felt inside when i think of how could he betrayed me...
about the way he love me when he's loving me...
about the way he angry at me...

i love and hate him at the same time......

i hate it... this feeling right now..
its damn sucks!

m.e.n.y.a.m.p.a.h

slalunyer font yg memainkan peranan penting bila aku nak update blog..
coz aku suka font yg takde kerawang2 cam font ni.. ni font verdana nama die..

anyway..
aku bukan nak cite pasal font pon...
aku pun bkn nak cite sangat pasal En. H.. eventhough lately tu je nama yg terhook kat pala aku...
aku just.. nak cite pasal.....

ntah la...
kadang2 aku pun tak tau ape aku pikir..
sbb mostly yg aku pikir ialah pasal En. H...

aku pikir ape En. H buat arini...
dengan sape En. H kuar malam td...
En. H da makan ke belum...
En. H... En. H.... En. H....

aku rasa.. kalau otak aku leh cakap..
mst die da bitau die da nak muntah simpan data hatta nama En. H sekalipun..
sori lah otak...
kalau aku leh reset ati ngan perasaan aku ni... aku da lamaaa reset..
malah berserta dengan reformat sebersih-bersihnyer sebersih tiada yg paling bersih melainkan bersihnyer sebaldi air mutlak...

huhu... (eh terpanggil kucing CTP pulak...)

ergh.. ntah la.. bila la aku ble nak serious ngan mamat ni...
asyik main tarik2 tali keldai je... benci betul...
malam td.. bila die tau aku gi karaoke.. bunyik cam nak marah je...
owh... kalau die gi dating ngan pompuan lain okey jer....
tak de la pulak aku nak cakap ape...

menyampah....

i wish i could delete this feeling inside me..
so i dont feel hurt when it comes to his ignorant.. and his player attribute..
and the tempting flirtatious...

please..
teach me to hate him...

r.i.n.d.u

diorang pegi gym...

me?
i dont have to... not bragging.. its just that... i dont have to.. :) coz im petite.. :) :)

hmm.. am i going to babble bout him today? ntah la.. arini.. lepas bangun ingat kat die.. pastu terus tak tingat sampai kul 12.11pm... bz sket kat ofis arinih...

and maybe coz pms da over...
nape eyh.. bile pms je mula la kite nak pk bebukan... silap sikit je rasa nak menangis... mcm meroyan.. hahah...

anyway.. td he called.. bitau die da gerak balik dr janda baik... hehe..
yey...hope leh jmpa mlm ni..

rindu!

:(

mr. H demam... :(
tak baik2 dr hari jumaat... frankly... i'm worried.....

i called him this afternoon...
he still demam... da 3 hari stengah demam... lamanye demam.......
cakap pun 5 line jer.. huhu
pastu aku leh siap tanye 'i kacau ke tak?' argh.. horror tak soklan itu kepada org yg terjaga dr tido for picking up call and dlm keadaan separa sedar akibat dr. suhu badan yg agak tinggi...
agak horror gak la bila dia pun tak tau nak jawab ape...

huhu.. tu la aku... bila nervous je cakap merepek2...
hmm... ntah la... bila la dia nak baik demam ni.. hopefully die tak la kepala ais ketul takmo gi klinik...

well...
like usual... i dont have time to update u mr. bloggy.... :|
hmm..

but the 'meeting' with him last nite... makes the smile still lingers till now....

argh..
rindulah!

The kind of ME

January

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy.
Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous.
Very Stubborn and money cautious.